Author: Diamond

Title: Methos Journals: Alone in Love

Rating/Warning: G

Short summary: Methos starts to write about a new group of people he has found himself with and the lives they lead.

Disclaimer: Methos, Highlander, and all things associated with it belong to Davis-Panzer Productions and I'm just borrowing them for a bit to have some fun. I'm don't make any money off of this and I don't have any either so it's no use suing me.

Feedback: Let me know how really horrible I am at this sort of thing *grins*


Alone in Love

Why do I do this? Iíve asked myself that question time and time again over the centuries and I have yet to find the answer. I sit here and write down thoughts, feelings, and discoveries I have made in a bunch of books that no one will ever see. Even if they did it would be long after I am as dead as the civilization that spawned me and just as forgotten. Yet, I continue to write. The only real answer I have is that maybe it keeps the insanity that lurks somewhere in the darkest parts of my mind at bay.

Whatever the reason I sit here again to write about what I have seen. Iíve noticed that it is more often the sad things that I find myself writing about rather than the happy and this time is no different, but I take hope in the fact that the story is not yet finished with this one entry. Things change as they always do, so a happy ending can still be found here for all the people involved if they are willing and work towards it. Often easier said than done I know. Anyway, I find myself wandering again so I shall get on with it.

I have spent the better part of the last year in the company of a rather diverse group of individuals. The relationships within this group with their highs and lows would take at least half a dozen journals to keep track of properly and I have the notes on some of it so maybe one day I will put it all together. However, this entry is mostly about the loneliness that one can feel even when surrounded by the people they love most. It is about a young woman who could be anyone of millions of people in this world.

This young woman doesnít have any special abilities or skills like most of the others in the group, but she has her own strengths if she would look inside and find them. However like most mortals she tends to overlook what she has and look instead to what she doesnít. She is a very caring and helpful individual, maybe to a fault and most definitely to her own detriment at times. She tends to keep quiet when she should let people know what sheís feeling as it would save her and others a lot of pain in the end. She and another young lady in the group are very similar in that regard. Most of all she is a good friend to everyone in the group who wants to be one with her, or at least tries to be one whenever she can.

The young woman is also very much in love with a young man in the group who appears equally smitten. They have in the past spent quite a bit of time together and marriage was proposed at one point although she declined for health reasons of a sort. That story is in another entry however so I wonít go into details here. I do know that he is the only thing that holds her to this group at this point. She would have left and stayed gone if not for him, and I write this wondering how long their love can hold her here. Love is never enough except for in fairy tales and romance novels.

Itís not that she wants to go or that she doesnít love him. Itís simply that she doesnít feel like she really belongs in the group anymore. A sense of belonging is a very important key to happiness and when itís not there a person is left feeling lost and unneeded. It doesnít matter whether their feelings are true or just a figment of their imagination. They will continue to feel alone even among friends.

Now she has gotten it into her head that no one would miss her if she were to leave other than the young man of whom I spoke earlier. Recently she tested this theory by leaving for a little over a week and seeing whether anyone noticed her absence. As she apparently expected, it wasnít much commented upon and she continues to wonder about her place in the scheme of things.

I can only hope things work out for her and the others in this amusing little group I find myself in. I have been a Watcher so often through the years that I still simply watch and record what I observe. However in this group as with otherís Iíve been in recently, itís getting harder not to interfere. A journal "accidentally" left open to the right page in the right place isnít really interfering though.